


Things You Gave

by limesicle



Category: Free!
Genre: Experimental Style, Freeform, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6207763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limesicle/pseuds/limesicle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru thinks about everything he's received from Sousuke in their life together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things You Gave

Not everything I have from you is concrete or set in stone. You’ve given me so much more objects to hold onto. There’s the gaze you gave me before we go to sleep. I see your eyes, teal–bright, so bright–soften as they look into mine. It’s a look that’s just for me; it still sets my heart racing like it did the first time our eyes met.

 

You gave me kisses gently trailing up my arm, my neck, my inner thigh. You gave me the way you say my name.  _ Ha. Ru. Ka. _ Three syllables. You said it delicately, angrily, happily.  _ Haruka. _ I never liked my name before I heard it tumble off your lips. You wrote meaning into syllables that I’d never stopped to think about.  _ Haruka– _ springtime.  _ Haruka _ –distant.  _ Haruka. _ It’s a sound a replay to myself when you’re asleep, and I lay staring at the ceiling. I echo it, repeat it, and it comforts me.

 

It took too say “I love you” aloud even though we’d said it a million times in silence. You said it first.  _ “I love you.” _ Your voice was soft like the running of a brook. I love you. Always. We promised our forevers when no one else was there to watch. We promised silently and with our hands trailing, tracing over skin. We were young. And we grew older together.

 

You gave me tears as well as smiles. You made me feel whole in ways I never thought were possible, and you tore me open in places I never new existed. You held my hand and told me I’d be free. You twist me ‘til I nearly break, then hold me ‘til all my pieces fall back into place. You showed me a path into the future. I’d never thought of things like three years hence. I did for you. I stopped looking at the past and present. I started looking for what happens next. I never wanted to live as much as I did when you said: “let’s grow old together.”

 

There are million touches engraved across my skin. There are the gentle brushes down my cheek, the kisses placed here and there, your hand folding around mine. There are touches that close my eyes and draw out your name in my breaths. There are touches that have said things you never said aloud. There are strong touches and gentle ones; ones that were intended and those that were accidental; and there are touches losing in strength where my grip is firmer than yours. There are touches I tried so hard to engrave into memory that I forgot the world around me.

 

I memorized everything you gave me and packaged it into lists. There are good lists and bad lists and lists that I can’t quite decide what they are. There are lists I can’t quite see and those I can’t erase. The list I hate–I love,  _ I need _ , the most is the list of the things you whispered to me in failing breaths.

 

“I love you more than anything.”

“I don’t believe in life after death, but I will watch over you.”

“You are not alone.”

“We will meet again.”   
“I love you.”

“From now until…”

  
_ Forever. _

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is sort of a character and relationship study. I just wrote what I was thinking and thought I'd share lol


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